Attracting a man seems easy…if you’re basing the concept of finding a mate from movies and television, where everything falls into place. In real life, however, magically meeting Mr. Right doesn’t happen by chance. The truth is, in order to attract a man you need to master a few things. You have to learn to use and improve your strengths, as well as manifest an energy that makes you authentic and interesting on the inside and outside. You also have to understand how a man’s mind works.
This guide has been broken down into 4 sections:
- Scientific ways to attract a man
- Men reveal what they are attracted to in women
- Emotional ways to attract a man
- Physical ways to attract a man
5 Scientific Ways to Attract a Man
The romance and attraction between two people can be complicated that even scientists have a hard time putting things in black and white when it comes to matters of the heart. Many experts have done experiments to understand what makes a man attracted to a woman and here are five scientific ways that work:
1. Look and act feminine without obsessing about your appearance.
It’s apparently a scientific fact that men demonstrate a visual sensory bias when it comes to choosing their mate. Let’s face it, men do consider a woman’s beauty in looking for a partner, according to a study on the Royal Society Open Science.
However, most men don’t go for a drop-dead gorgeous woman, especially if they know they aren’t in her league. In many cases, they want someone with a simple beauty; someone who exudes feminine features and characteristics, but who also does not obsess about her looks.
Simplicity in a woman is about looking presentable, well-groomed and well-put together. She’s someone who is comfortable wearing heels and swirly skirts, but can also look presentable in sweatpants and running shoes.
2. Mimic his mannerisms, habits, interests and actions.
A man’s interest in a woman increases if he sees that you have something in common. He feels more comfortable around you and gets a sense that you’re someone worthy to like and get to know. It might even increase his perception of your sexual attractiveness.
So, consider mimicking the actions and movements of the guy you like when you’re with him. If he sips his drink, then do the same thing a few seconds later. Try to use the same words and phrases he uses in conversations and know that he is paying attention. If he leans in while speaking, try leaning in. If he sits back, try to look relaxed too.
Now, this might sound a bit odd to do as it might appear you’re stalking him, but there’s an actual science that explains the rationale copying a man you like. Experts talked about synchronicity and commonality as a courtship dance in The Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. During a speed-dating session, women were secretly told to mimic the men they met. As a result, the men ranked them higher as their dating choice because they saw something they can relate to.
3. Make an effort to get close to him.
You might have run into the guy you like a few times and exchanged a polite smile. If you go to the same gym or work in the same building, then there’s a good chance you’ll run into each other again. So, the next time, try to actually say, “Hi!” to initiate the Theory of Proximity, according to a study in the University of Chicago Press.
This researched involved students who go to the same dormitory to evaluate their peers. Many of them based how much they liked a person on proximity, which apparently triggered familiarity. According to the experts, you can become more attractive to a man if he becomes familiar to you. So, go ahead and subtly give him a little nudge by verbally acknowledging him when you run into each other.
4. Get his adrenaline pumped and do exciting things together.
If you really want a man to become attracted to you, then invite him to a game of trivial pursuit or watch a scary movie together to get his adrenalin pumped. According to a study in the Journal of Undergraduate Psychological Research, arousal, attraction and adrenalin-pumping activities are linked together in the same part of the brain and a human’s reaction to these activities may spark sexual attraction.
Another study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior showed how non-romantic people, who were asked to be on the same roller coaster ride, rated each other’s photographs higher on the attractiveness scale compared to those who did not complete the ride. Experts noted that it’s likely because they experienced residual arousal and adrenaline rush that intensified how they saw the other person.
5. Tell him how you really feel.
There are men who like it when women are upfront and straightforward about saying their feelings, as per a study on Social Psychology Quarterly. Self-disclosure can be a turn on when it’s driven by trust and openness. And the more you share, the more you’ll strengthen your bond and turn your connection to this guy into something deeper. This may just be the simplest way to attract a man.
However, you have to be really comfortable and familiar with the guy to disclose your feelings. This action has its limitations because revealing too much, when it’s not yet the right time, might cause disappointment and rejection.
5 Ways to Attract a Man – Quotes by Famous Men
What are the ways to attract a man? Here are five famous men who can help you understand a guy’s psyche when it comes to attractive women:
1. Confidence – Henry Cavill
Superman and “Justice League” actor Henry Cavill revealed via Cosmopolitan that he’s most attracted to strong and confident women who are very comfortable with who they are. He said,
“The world is filled with people uncomfortable in their skin. So someone who hasn’t got a front on is very attractive.”
2. Strength and Intelligence – Tom Hiddleston
“Avengers” and “Thor” star Tom Hiddleston spoke to Elle about what he thinks makes a woman attractive, and he has looked up to his mother and sisters as the barometers. Hiddleston said, “I believe in the strength and intelligence and sensitivity of women. My mother, my sisters, [they] are strong.” He added, “No woman should love a man that doesn’t admire and marvel at her strength.”
3. Sneakers and Ponytails – Chris Evans
Hiddlestone’s co-star in “Avengers” Chris Evans has a different take on attractive women. Speaking with Access Hollywood, Captain America said, “I like sneakers, I like ponytails, I like sweatpants. I know a lot of guys say that, but I really mean that. I genuinely enjoy a girl that can wake up and wear no makeup and be OK to step outside and not be worried about what the public thinks.”
4. Well-dressed – Jon Hamm
“Mad Men” star and Emmy Best Actor winner Jon Hamm admitted to People that he gives women a good look if they carry their clothes well. “I’m a heterosexual male, and I love a lady with style,” the actor said.
5. Ambition – Harry Styles
Former One Direction member Harry Styles has plenty of ideas on what attracts a man. He said in an interview via Alloy,
“It’s more about the person. How they act, their body language, if they can laugh at themselves. I find ambition really attractive too—if someone’s good at something they love doing. I want someone who is driven.”
5 Emotional Ways to Attract a Man
Initially, attraction starts with physical appearances and visual cues. But as you progress into this mating dance, other factors can make you more attractive, such as your emotional connection to a man. There’s more gradation or degrees to emotional attraction than an instantaneous physical attraction. Emotional attraction is also more binding and lasting. Here are five ways to attract a man emotionally:
1. Show your kind heart.
Kindness is attractive to a man. A study in the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences showed that men preferred women who were labeled as kind from among a set of photos of 60 women, compared to those who had attractive features. Another study in the Archive of Sexual Behavior showed that men ranked kindness, alongside honesty and humor, as more attractive than physical looks.
Everyone admires a person who helps and treats other people with kindness. If a man is considering a woman as his mate for life, he’ll definitely look at how she behaves around people and considers her kindness as valuable to the success of their relationship in the long term, according to the British Journal of Psychology. If you’re the nurturing kind, you might remind him of someone who took care of him as a child, such as his mother or grandmother, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. There’s an emotional connection there that can seal his feelings for you.
2. Exude confidence and contentment about who you are.
A woman who is oozing with confidence and security about herself is most attractive to a man. She doesn’t need anyone to define her or affirm her presence because what matters to her is how she sees herself, and she remains grounded and humble despite her standards and achievements.
Dating coach Joann Cohen stated on her site that women who are obsessed about their imperfections turn off men in a big way. Guys don’t like it when they have to constantly reassure a woman because she’s not comfortable about herself. On the other hand, men love to give compliments to a woman who knows her strengths and doesn’t focus on her weaknesses and flaws.
How you direct your life in the midst of the drama, challenges and problems also shows confidence, self-assurance and resiliency. From a guy’s point of view, a woman with this take-charge attitude has plenty of potential to raise his children as strong and able, too.
3. Be fun and funny.
A sense of humor ranks as a top quality that both men and women look for in a mate. A woman who laughs at his jokes and who is game for doing goofy things together is attractive to a man.
According to the journal Nature, humor is a good gauge for someone who is intelligent and a great life partner. Men also think that women who know how to have fun and have a sense of humor are more lovable and easy to love, as per the Journal of Psychology.
Someone who doesn’t take life so seriously and who isn’t a downer is open for trying out anything new, which stimulates a man’s need for adventure. Men also develop a positive emotional association and pleasure in a woman they can laugh with.
4. Express your gratitude and praise.
Embracing a grateful attitude makes you more likable and when you are well liked, you exude other traits that make your more attractive to men. You’re courteous and respectful because you empathize with people who go through challenges. You also offer sincere compliments and praises, as well as earn someone’s trust when you show your appreciation for the people you encounter everyday.
A woman who is grateful and who doesn’t hold back on the praises is a woman who exudes hope and happiness for the future. What guy wouldn’t be drawn to woman like this? But more than that, being grateful improves your emotional connection to others, according to a study from psychology students of University of California, Riverside. So, if you’d like to establish attractiveness, show a man your positive and grateful attitude.
5. Be his safe place.
You attract a man when you become his safe place, or the person he confides his secrets, anxieties and angst about life. The fact that you don’t judge him too quickly for his failures, but instead offer sound advice on how to overcome his challenges, makes him want to seek out your company even more.
If you’re the person he goes to as a sounding board for his problems and he trusts that you won’t blab his secrets to others, then he’s already emotionally connected to you.
Relationships can develop when the friendship and connection is as deep as this, according to The Attraction Doctor and psychologist Jeremy Nicholson on Psychology Today. However, the expert also cautioned that being too much of a nice girl that helps a man fix his problems might sometimes kill the attraction because he might just see as a best friend. He suggested striking a balance between being likable and being desirable. You can be his safe place but don’t be always eager to help him each time.
Related Post: 15 Things Men Like More than Good Looks
5 Physical Ways to Attract a Man
Physical attraction is quite important if you wish to attract a man. You don’t have to be a goddess to achieve this though; you just have to understand what a man’s idea of attraction is because it is a bit different than a woman. Here are five sure-fire ways you can try adapting to make yourself physically irresistible to the guy you have your eye on:
1. Play with your hair.
Eighty nine percent of men in a survey conducted by Zoosk, a dating site, revealed that they are attracted to women with good hair. Whether its straight and long (38 percent), wavy or curly (30 percent), or tied in a clean ponytail (13 percent), men think women with a lovely hairstyle are worth a second look. In addition, men also take cues from women who play with their hair. They see this as a non-verbal way of signaling your interest, which sparks their interest too.
There are plenty of ways you can play with your hair:
• Brush or flip it off your shoulders
• Run your fingers through the hair strands
• Twirl the edges of the strands or your ponytail
2. Wear red lipstick.
Experts from University of Manchester learned that men are more drawn to women who wear red lipstick than pink or nude shades. Apparently, a man’s gaze can be fixated on a woman for 7.3 seconds if she’s wearing a red lipstick shade, while a pink shade can hold his gaze for 6.7 seconds only. Women who don’t wear any lipstick at all can hold a man’s gaze for 2.2 seconds only.
Another study from the luxury brand Chanel and experts at Gettysburg College showed that red lipstick creates a youthful appeal. So, if you want men to do a double take when you come to that door, pick a good red lipstick to complement your look.
3. Wear a red dress.
What’s with men and red, you might wonder? The color has ties to attraction and desire, so men perceive women who wear red dresses as sexually desirable, according to experts from the University of Rochester. However, the power of the red dress over a man only goes as far as physical attraction. He gauges your intelligence and personality based on your other characteristics, too.
4. Show a geniune and lovely smile.
You’re more attractive to men if you have a fetching smile, according to experts from the American Psychological Association. It tells them you’re a confident, fun and happy person to be with. You open doors for a man to approach and talk to you when you flash that smile and if you use eye contact, you’ll make yourself even more irresistible.
5. Sway your hips when you walk.
Catch a guy’s attention by the way you walk and move your body. Researchers at the Texas A&M University and New York University learned that the most effective style is to sway and slightly wiggle your hips as you walk. Hollywood sexpot Marilyn Monroe apparently had one heel of her shoes a quarter of an inch shorter than the other so that she could deliberately and seductively sway her hips as she walked, according to the experts via Reuters.
Models also deliberately sway their hips when they’re on the runway, but you don’t necessarily have to develop a runway walk. Just make sure to take longer strides and place one foot over the front of the other in a slight criss-cross. As a guide, imagine there’s a straight line to your front when you walk.
Know that you’re not alone, as many women face the same dilemma and go through similar motions of doubting that they can ever attract a man and build a great relationship with him. But here’s the thing, how to attract a man begins with your mindset. You have to believe you can be attractive to men even if you’re not the prettiest, sexiest or most charming lady in the room.